Just moved in1/14/2024 Fortunately a simple grocery list and a low-key plan for easy meals are my saving graces.Ī little background: After eight years in New York City-five of those as a food editor and recipe developer-I decided to leave my full-time job, move to North Carolina, and go back to school to study nutrition. Don’t get me wrong, I love change and I’m excited to be in a new place, but the process of packing, moving, living on couches and/or out of suitcases for weeks on end? Yuck. (Can you imagine your own child saying this to you? Mortifying!) But if nothing else, you’ll be getting closer to having conversations that all of you can remember the next day.I’m in the middle of a huge move right now, and let me tell you, moving is the worst. But can we find some times to connect when you’re sober?” The unlikely best-case scenario is that this will be the wakeup call they need to quit drinking, or reduce their consumption. I know it’s not my place to tell you what to do in your own home, while you’re being nice enough to let me stay here. How about “Hey Mom and Dad, can we go to breakfast once in a while or take a walk in the evening before dinner? I really want to talk about stuff going on in my life and make plans with you, but I’ve noticed that after you’ve had a couple of glasses of wine you don’t remember our conversations. It’s possible (not guaranteed, but possible) that some of that motivation could possibly come from learning about how their drinking is affecting their relationship with you, so it’s worth saying something. It may be tough for them to give it up or even cut back a lot, and if they’re going to, it will take some serious internal motivation. I’m not here to say whether your parents are alcoholics, but I agree that what they’re doing doesn’t sound super healthy, and I think it’s safe to assume they’re doing it for a reason other than liking the taste of wine. Could you not do that?” by going “No problem” and drinking less. It’s that I can’t think of many examples of someone responding to “Hey, you seem to be drinking to the point of blacking out a little. It’s not so much that you’d come off as a young scold. Help! My Mother Is Terrified That My “Online Friend” Is Going to Hurt Me. What should I do? Is there any way I can ask my parents to tone the drinking down without coming off as a young scold? I don’t want to be a stick in the mud and monitor my parents’ alcohol consumption, but this doesn’t feel healthy to me-and it’s frustrating, as well, to have to work to separate “real talk” from “drunk talk” after a certain hour of the night. A week or so later, my father offered to fund a ski trip at the end of the year (I said I’d be happy to go, but also happy to pay my own way) and had no recollection of it the next morning. I was telling my mother late one night about a date I went on, for example, and then the next morning she woke up and asked me the same set of questions again. While neither of them becomes aggressive or acts wildly out of character when they drink, both of them say or do things that they don’t really mean, and they regularly have conversations with me that they don’t remember the next morning. This can add up to a bottle of wine a night between them. So do I sometimes! But now I’m living with them, I can see that the glasses of wine they refer to aren’t standard pours-it’s a wine glass filled to the brim. For a year or so now, my parents have told me that they enjoy a “glass or two” of wine with dinner, and I never had a problem with that. The arrangement has been great, but for one not-so-small thing: I’ve noticed that my parents drink a lot in the evenings. Six months ago, my (31, he/him) long-term relationship ended, and I accepted my parents’ (64 and 68) offer to move in with them for a short time when my partner and I ended our lease. Every week, Dear Prudence answers additional questions from readers, just for Slate Plus members.
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